dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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