Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
