Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
