If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
