Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize