Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
