You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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