Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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