whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
