hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
as a side note pls kill me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
