My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize