oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
