i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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