It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
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Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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