Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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