Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
