Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sarcasm needs its own font
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
please don't ironically join a cult
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