I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
