She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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