moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
