there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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