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i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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