time to smoke my breakfast
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
