I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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