question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I understand Curling. That high.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize