She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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