I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
