Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
