My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how can u be prego again
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
