"it" just moved
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize