hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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