you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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