she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize