never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
