Can i not drive my cunt home
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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