i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
