Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
