New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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