my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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