grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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