I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
