well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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