He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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