I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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