is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
