So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
And then he peed in my hair
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