My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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