Duck Duck Cougar?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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