hotel room ftw
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
