giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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