Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
