i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
