I hate all girls vehemently.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
