Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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