Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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