Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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