is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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