it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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